Our Real Work: Jess Ryan, MS

Coaching and consulting. Something's calling. It's your life.

Why Me? What To Do When Your Money, Marriage, and Happiness Are Being Hijacked by Your Ancestors


Have you ever had a similar, challenging experience…over and over again?

Have you ever caught yourself saying any of these phrases?

  • Why can’t I seem to get past this?
  • I thought I already dealt with this?! Why can’t I get over it?
  • I’ve tried everything I can possibly think of, why isn’t this working, getting better, healing, etc?
  • This isn’t fair, why doesn’t this happen to anyone else?
  • Maybe this is just how it’s going to be for the rest of my life.

Sherri came to me two years ago, unable to get pregnant after several years of trying. She was exhausted, stressed, depressed, low on money, frazzled with her relationship, and she just wanted something to change. This situation clearly wasn’t working for her anymore. She was run-down in most aspects of her life and was seeking…a shift.

She’d tried all the conventional, and not-so-conventional, methods to feel better: doctors, medicine, therapy, acupuncture, meditation. All of those things helped and were definitely necessary to treat her diagnosable conditions, but there was something that still wasn’t budging in the baby-making or her mental, emotional, and spiritual systems.

We did some life coaching around the “stuckness” and identified stories and self-talk that she consciously, and unconsciously, repeated to herself. She did the homework, worked hard, and, still, she didn’t observe any major, outward changes. Then in one session, we did some Reiki and healing energy work.

As I was sending energy to her system it was clear something was blocked in her left ovary. Thank goodness for Western medicine, we knew there was nothing physically wrong with her reproductive system, but her body was holding something that was blocking energy flow to her ovaries. As I mentioned her mother, Sherri started crying. Her mother had ovarian cancer and died when Sherri was a teenager. Even though she had expressed the grief of losing her mother with multiple counselors, and this event happened decades ago, the cancer, death, and the energy of feeling abandoned by her mother lived in her body in the places where she was processing her role as mother.

Long story short, we released not only the energy around Sherri’s grief and abandonment, but we also released and healed her mother’s grief, that had been stored in Sherri’s system. At the time of her death, Sherri’s mother was distraught about missing out on Sherri’s young adulthood, seeing her daughter fall in love, and become a mother––if Sherri couldn’t become a mother, then her mother wouldn’t miss out. Whether we realize it or not, our ancestors “stuff” sticks with us. Within two months after this release Sherri got pregnant and now has a bubbly little toddler (making her exhausted for completely different, and joyous, reasons.)

So, how is this story relevant to you, especially if have no urge to get pregnant?

One, I’ve seen this scenario play out over and over again, whether it’s about getting pregnant, getting out of debt, dealing with chronic pain, being seen, feeling abandoned and alone, getting one’s work out into the world. You name it, I’ve seen it, and it’s goes back to the beginning of this post. If you have said or felt any of those questions, you, more than likely, are dealing with ancestral patterns and energy that is trying to be released.

Second, for better or for worse, we carry our families unhealed “stuff”. Lucky for you, if you are reading this, you are probably the family member who is resourced, aware, and open enough to be the one to heal it.

Third, there are no easy buttons, just-visit-a-shaman-and-bypass-the-struggle switch that you can push to avoid the adversity and discomfort of carrying said “stuff”. Sherri had to go through years of treatments. I experienced multiple episodes of chronic pain. Other’s have had to deal with multiple failed businesses, divorces, and deaths of loved ones. Nothing in life, leading up to this moment is useless, a mistake, in vain, or wasted. It was prepping you to be a container, to be resourced enough to facilitate a shift that couldn’t have happened up to this point.

Fourth, sometimes you can try everything you can think of, you can give up, you can complain, you can try harder––and it’s not up to you and what your ego wants. It’s about something bigger.

You are an amazing instrument for Source, the Divine, God…whatever you call that otherness. The more you trust the aspect of yourself that you can’t see or prove from the outside, the more you’ll be lead to what you need to be of service, to heal the greater collective, and live out your real work.

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