Our Real Work: Jess Ryan, MS

Coaching and consulting. Something's calling. It's your life.

The Year’s Best Gift Probably Isn’t on Your List


The holiday season is nutso. It seems to get bigger and bigger, more and more. Heaven forbid you walk into a store and not feel assaulted.

So how do we slow it down?

How do we deal with personal and/or family drama?

How do we deal with hurtful memories and missing people and loneliness when our lives aren’t the cheer, cheer, joy, joy the season demands?

How do we move away from overspending, drinking too much, buying too much . . .? I don’t want to sound like a scrooge, but all that excess tends to make people feel like crap.

When life gets the busiest and you find yourself hurting inside, instead of tuning out (another glass of holiday grog, another bag of chocolates, not the answer), you need to tune in and feel what isn’t feeling good. And what could.

This time of year can test your boundaries. So it’s time to revisit them, refresh them, revitalize your boundaries. And it’s time to take care of yourself.

I know it gets dark early, and for some of us it’s awfully cold, but step outside. Feel the sunshine on your face. Breathe the fresh air. If you can do this someplace with trees around you or open water or rolling plains instead of asphalt under your feet, even better. But if the best you can do is step out of your office for 5 minutes during lunch, do that. Or stand still for a minute before you step back into your warm home. Look up at the sky and the darkness.

Stand still. Breathe it in. Breathe deep. Practice whole body breathing to reset your nervous system. (Honestly, taking slow deep breaths for 10 minutes impacts nervous system for 24 hours.)  Make time to do this every day. Every day. More than once even.

Say no to something you dread doing or are only doing to keep the peace. Say yes to something that brings you joy or contentment.

Go back to your yoga practice. Go to a class. Unroll your mat at home. Practice mountain pose standing in line doing your holiday shopping. (Crazy? Maybe, but it beats getting irritated and ramming your cart into the person in front of you. That actually happened to a family member.) Start your day with meditation. Yes, even though you are too busy. Because you are too busy.

When life amps up the crazy and you start to pass yourself over just to get through, it’s time to respond with self-nurturing and healthy boundaries. You can do this, my friend.

And if you need a little help, I’m offering online energy healing sessions this season and my self-paced online boundaries class.

Online healing sessions are perfect for you! (I’ve found they usually don’t make a great gift for somebody else, but you, you, deserve to treat yourself.) I’ve opened up 5 sessions this month. Click HERE to see what’s available and read more about how energy work can help.

The Real You 101: Healthy Boundaries in a Demanding World makes a great gift for you or a loved one. Even better, take it together and get some common language as you both improve boundaries!

In the comments, I’d love to hear what you’ve done to support yourself in past holidays and what you have in place this season!

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