What You Wish You Could Tell Your Mother
Does that mean you put on your rose colored glasses and pretend everything is perfect. No. It means stepping back from your story for a moment (good or bad), dropping into a wiser part of yourself, and seeing the bigger picture so you can start to separate yourself from your stories and blossom into your fullest potential in this life.Caroline Myss uses the analogy of a skyscraper to represent our levels of consciousness and awareness. The ground level represents our immediate, physical experience. We can only hear the loud street outside, we see the same neighbors walking by daily, and we are unable to see past the buildings that surround us.Moms.They’re complicated.If you have one (we all do), you know what I mean; crazed phone calls, incessant texting to see if you’re still alive, no phone calls, slightly misguided encouragement (You’re wearing that?), smothering (with the best of intentions), perfect, distant, unconditional love, or judgemental. Sometimes all of the above. Relationships with our mothers run the full spectrum of experiences.Here’s the thing. It’s Mother’s Day. And if it weren’t for our mothers, we wouldn’t be here. We all come from a woman somewhere out there in the cosmos. So, no matter what our relationships are, blissful or challenging, this is the time to tap into our own maternal archetype. Yes, this includes you gents out there as well.When we can access our maternal archetype we have the chance to find our own capacity for compassion and gratitude towards ourselves and towards the person that brought us into this life and, ultimately, into this moment.As we move up the floors, integrating deeper understandings of our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves, we gain different perspectives. (Think Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs.) On the fifth floor, with a wiser understanding of our emotional intelligence, we’re going to see things we couldn’t see from the ground level. From the roof, with a deeper understanding of our spirituality, we’re going to see an even bigger picture of, not only our own building, but also the neighborhood, the city, and beyond. We’re going to see that we’re part of something much bigger than once imagined and experienced on the ground floor.Yet, how many of us never leave the ground floor? We never examine our mental, emotional or spiritual beliefs. We see our immediate existence as truth. We buy this ground-level experience as our reality: this job, this family, these kids, this mom. This is it.But, is it?I think this life encompasses all of that. And. A lot more.So, how do we start movin’ on up?One way is to tap into an archetype, a universal concept. Not only is an archetype embodied within each of us, but it also evokes a transpersonal experience; an image, traits, a concept that spans across cultures, belief systems, and geography. Take for example, the archetypes of hero, healer, or mother. We have our own personal experiences with these concepts, but we also have a collective understanding of these words beyond our personal experience. Mother Teresa and Betty Crocker come up as the archetypes of mother...and they aren’t your personal mothers, nor are they literal mothers, but they embody the maternal archetype.When we can access an archetype, or universal theme, within ourselves it offers us the opportunity to transcend our bottom floor experience, while also still acknowledging that we need to live our daily lives on that ground level. Consciously accessing an archetype gives us perspective, connection, and a chance to integrate these traits within ourselves instead of looking outward. This leads to healing.How do we do this?
Give yourself a few moments. Get a pen and paper and answer these questions.
Today is the perfect day to start connecting to your own maternal archetype. Write down 5-10 words that you associate with the concept of the ideal mother.Go through each trait. How do you experience these traits within yourself?Find a way to incorporate at least THREE of these traits into how you think about, treat, or see yourself today. Yes. TODAY.A lot of times we want so badly for that maternal archetype to be filled by something outside of us and mom’s bear the brunt of this because, as children, we need big people to take care of us. But, my hunch is, if you are reading this, you’re probably not six and you’re living some semblance of your own life.It’s easy to stay confined to the ground level, to keep looking out that window, and get caught up the stories we’ve believed for decades. They’ve become our reality. We tell ourselves that we should be as perfect as our mothers or wish that our mothers could have been more perfect or taken care of us better. But, the deep healing occurs when we realize we are capable adults now and that we can access those states, that archetype, within ourselves.As we find compassion and a connection to our own maternal archetype, we find true compassion and connection to all maternal energies in our world. And, I believe, that’s what our world needs more of: acceptance, healing, compassion, and unconditional love. Not regret, comparisons, grudges, and hurt.On this Mother’s Day, I encourage you to give your mom a shout out, but more importantly (and this will serve your mother, too) I encourage you to explore and nurture your own maternal archetype.In the comments below I’d love to hear a few words about how you define the archetype of mother...and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY even if you aren’t a literal mother. We’ve all got a little Mother Teresa and Betty Crocker in there (even if it comes from a box).
To hear an audio of Jess reading this blog click HERE.