Stop picking up other people’s shit

A little something about me: I can sense how people’s bodies hold messages, blockages, energy, and life experiences and how those things keep people out of alignment with the life they truly want to live. Blessing? Curse? Your call, but I’m not the only one. I know a LOT of people who pick up on these energies too. In fact, often times we don’t just pick up on them, we pick them up and take them on. Fellow empaths, I’m looking at you. (Therapists, coaches, and healers who feel drained, sad, and rolled over after the end of a day with clients. Friends and family members who feel responsible for everyone else’s happiness...and it makes you sick when someone else is upset.) It’s one thing to be aware and feel empathy, another to be enmeshed.We take on other’s emotions and problems until it’s not clear where they start and we end. It’s exhausting. It gets in the way of happiness and relationships, physical health, and truly living our life.If anybody needs boundaries (hint: we ALL do), it’s empaths. This gift that makes us really good at what we do can also be our undoing. And that’s where boundaries become a necessity. But, implementing = not so easy. It often feels counter-intuitive to start setting boundaries when we’ve been functioning unboundaried most of our lives. Most people who are super-empathic are big-hearted folks who want to help the world, do good, and create harmony. Putting up a boundary often feels foreign, a bit cold, or even mean because it involves discomfort. It might mean saying no, or not right now, or I’ll be here with you, but I’m not going to carry that for you. (And when people are used to you saying yes, let me do that for you, or you being their emotional dump station, there might me some push-back = big discomfort.)Yet, when we don’t have healthy boundaries that “kindness” and “help” you originally gave from a place of good intention starts coming from a place of obligation and resentment, not true generosity and gift. I’m not sure about you, but I’d rather have a friend help me because she wants to, not because she feels obligated or guilted into it. As Brene Brown says around starting to set boundaries, “I may not be as sweet as I used to be, but I’m a lot more loving.”If you want to authentically help the world and do it from a centered, sustainable, loving, AND boundaried place join me for The Real You 101: Healthy Boundaries in a Demanding World.  In this 6-week program we learn skills around the five critical boundaries necessary for health, solid relationships, success, and personal fulfillment. You’ll learn how to stand in your center, know yourself, trust your voice, and act on it—not just in theory, but in your everyday, real life. Whether or not you consider yourself an empath or if you are more aware of everyone but yourself, it’s time to tune in and redefine your boundaries. Join us here.In the comments, share your stories around boundaries and times you’ve taken on people’s “stuff”.